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Having a ‘title’ in a relationship is all about status, but not just any old status, but an status and one that should be at least equal to, if not surpassing the status of previous women who have had the ‘property deeds’.It’s a status that needs to be acknowledged by him and ideally by your peers and anyone else you think needs to know. Because we think it tells us where we stand, where we fit in, and what we think we can expect, want, and need from them in the relationship.– Taking the glass is half full mentality to a whole new level.

Think very hard about whether you want to continue living on the fringes and in the shadows of his life? Is this affair taking you towards your needs, expectations, and wishes or is this taking you in the opposite direction? Remember that occasions like birthdays, Christmas, New Years won’t have to be spent waiting for his call or snatching a moment together. Turn off your phone and let the important people know where you are so that you don’t worry. When I speak to women involved with attached men, whether they realise it or not, they are almost always in a tight routine. A confidante gives you a sanity check but also gives you a rock of support.

After all, keeping things in a tight routine is how he stops himself from getting caught out and also how he fits you into his schedule. Choose someone you trust and who can be supportive but tell you that it’s time to quit. If you’ve been in relationships that have a habit of wearing down your self esteem and you want to understand your relationship patterns, or feel you need a little extra help to get you through this time, this is a great way of giving you support.

Failing that, tell a professional or even that coworker who has gently taken an interest in you or expressed concern. This protects you from knee-jerking into another situation that you may not recognise as being unsuitable and unavailable due to craving some sort of emotional replacement – there is no progress in ditching a married man for another emotionally unavailable man. Exploring the reasons that contributed to your desire to be in this relationship will also ensure that you ‘re able to gain a fresh perspective, heal and move forward.

It stung but what was really strange, is that I knew I wasn’t crazy about him but while I was feeling indignant, I did wonder why I didn’t get the title of girlfriend and was essentially angry with him for not giving me a title that I didn’t actually want.

Straight off the bat you can learn two things from my experiences: 1) A title is really only as good as the relationship you’re in and, 2) Sometimes you want the title just for the sake of your ego.

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